This thing Love...

I still look myself in the mirror and I wonder

What is this that everyone keeps going on about love

Why does everyone have to put so much pressure on it

This thing love

I have lived a good amount of time on the surface of earth

Yet, I still find it hard to wrap my head around its existence

It disturbs me in the wake of the morning and troubles me in sleep

This thing love

Why does it have to be about a moment of pain, like

Why do I have to prove it by going through some form of pain

Can't we just laugh together and call it love

Can't we just spend hours together and call it love

Can't we just talk about our dreams and say its love

Cant we just let love not have any form of definition

This thing love

A guy walked out on me because I cannot catch grenades for him

Ridiculous! Absurd! That must have been the meanest thing

So I asked him whether his intention was for me to die

He laughed and said, if you love me you’d die for me

That was absolutely funny so I laughed my head off

I never really wanted to be like Jesus, you know

Jesus is Jesus and I am me...we cannot do the same things

Everyone says He DIED for everyone

So I turned my back and told the guy, I cannot even die for myself

I never saw even a strand of his hair after that day

So it kept me wondering about this thing love

It must come with a lot of bloodshed as it appears

This thing love

Then another took me by the shores of the lake

He said, if he fell into the waters what would I do

I rung my eye round and stopped at a group of fishermen

I responded, I would run over there and seek for help

He frowned into my face and asked, do you love me?

I nodded my head and said yes I do

Then you would follow me into the waters and rescue me

I love fantasy, imagination and creativity in life

Those must be probably the only things I love

No I would not jump into the lake with you

I want to stick around and hold the memories we have together

Someone has to stay around and do that, because that is love

That sounded more romantic than two dead bodies

None alive to tell of how a fairy tale ended in such tragedy

That was the last I saw of him

This thing love

So I am still wrapping my head around this thing love

And trying to hope that I do not become paranoid

Reality and reason is the only instance under which we live

Anything beyond that is a fairy tale or hallucination sometimes

I am still trying hoping that one day I can wake up to what love is

I have been accused of not letting go and letting love

But how can you let yourself into something you do not understand

The closest I have come to understand love

Is when I wake up to a bright sunny morning and birds chirping

Or when I wake up to rain pellets hitting the frames of my window

Sometimes when I stand by the shores of the sea and watch tides come and go

Or when I find myself in a space, serene and in solitude

Those are my moments of letting go and if that is love

Then I have probably seen love and it is nothing like people call it

I do not want to spend my life trying to prove anything

I do not want to hold myself with worry because I am not sure how to love

I do not want to dig into my skull, killing myself about how to show love

No I do not want it if it is all about torturing myself day and night

My heart can only hold onto the things that sooth it

It already carries around so much pain and regret it cannot take another

So I look into my mirror and stare at the tear going down my face

I think I have carried love for such a long time in life

Because love is about those things we see but we cannot talk about

Love is about those things we feel but we are limited to express

Love is about those things we want to share

But only with those that are under the same spell as we are in

And if love must be described as pain, then I have loved

I still love, because love is that pain you do not see with your eyes

Love is that continued misery you keep going on and on with

But the scare of its conception derails you and it clings at your sleeve

Love is that fragile moment in the hands of someone that weakens your knee

Love is giving and not hoping to receive a thank you note

Love is doing that which makes your soul happy, seeing another smile

Love is the sound of continuous musicals in the midst of every season

Love is just love and should always be love

This thing love

I may carry it for another longer period

If someone does not walk up to me and say, that is love...