Mirror on the wall 2

‘You could do better slimmer’
She touches the pouch that is her tummy
A tight grip hoping to cut it off with one twist
She stares at the cut reminding her she’s a mother
She wants to feel better, that makes her feel better
She wants to have that good after child birth body
She wants her before child birth body
The one he first saw her in when he met her
She tries her first attempt at the gym with hope
He says she isn’t doing enough for her body
“You eat too much” “Don’t add anymore to your plate”
She stares in the mirror, clutching at her stomach...

‘Your thighs are too big’
She runs her palms on one thigh
Tries to pull them apart to tear out some skin
She pulls and pulls, nothing, only pain
She remembers how flirtery they were before
She wore clothes that defined the curves
It made her happy inside for a minute
“Your thighs are heavy” “ I can’t penetrate fully”
She tries to tear it once more, the mirror looks on...

‘You are too big’
She twirls to have a complete view
Her chest feels heavy, her heart frail
She touches the mirror with her palm
And breaks down in tears, drop after drop
She shuts her eyes for a minute, long enough
“You are just lazy” “Why are you sleeping”
“Find something to do” “You are no longer attractive”
“You must slim down” “Your stomach is too big”
Her ears begin to burn, her head begins to ache
She stares back in the mirror to say something
She wants to defend herself and her body
Her words are choked in the throat
Again he wins the battle, she is to blame.

Reclaim!

Reclaim
The hours you lost because you believed
Reclaim
The love you hid because you were scared
Worried you wouldn’t get it back
Reclaim
The things that touched fragments of your heart
Yet created a bubble in the empty skies
And made you feel whole

Reclaim
Your peace of mind, your sense of direction
Reclaim
The friendships that stood the test of time
The relations that touched your heart
Reclaim
The power that moulded and defined you
The strength that made you an admiration
The esteem in which you gladly lived

Reclaim
Your name, identity and purpose
Reclaim
Everything that was ever taken from you
Everything that can be reclaimed
Reclaim
Because it is a new phase
The beginning of better days ahead
The acceptance of your past for your future.

She is the lead

She wants the lead
She wants to take the lead
Yet she knows not
That she is the lead
She frowns upon the possibility
That she can be the lead
So she bundles herself in sorrow
Drowning herself in pity
Hoping to one day wake up
And find herself in the lead




She wants the lead
She wants to own the crown
Yet she knows not
That she is already crowned
She shys away from her queen title
Preferring a less weighty title
Settling for lesser than her value
Ignoring the power she exhibits
Allowing for her crown to be belittled
Hoping to settle for a cheaper crown

She wants the lead
She wants her name to be heard
Yet she knows not
That she has already built a legacy
She doubts the power in her name
Keeps second guessing herself
Looking for affirmations and confirmations
In the same places she's already conquered
She lacks the faith to believe
She lacks the morale to accept
That her only task is to own her name

She wants to lead
She wants to burry her pasts
Yet she knows not
That no one defines her in that past
She mulls over what was wrong
Never engages on how to stay strong
She wallows in self blame
Forgetting to self appraise
She bites into too much of whys
Letting her pasts trail her present

She wants to lead
She can lead
She was born to lead
She is the lead
She can lead despite the pasts
She can lead beyond the present
She must be her own cheerleader
She must be her own lead critic
She has to find her crown soon
And take her place in the lead.

A new day for new memories

I know the rains are dripping
You're wet from it, soaked silly
The cold has wrapped you over
But can you stay one more minute
It's not like I have anything to say
I just want you here, with me
Saying nothing but listening
Not to anything in particular 
Just be here so I know you're here
Be here for it makes me feel safe
Be here for when you are I am sane
Be here because it feels right...







I know the sun has gone down
The earth covered in darkness
With light from fire flies and lanterns
But can you be here another second
I know you'll still show up tomorrow
I know you can barely type in the dark
Your thumbs frozen from the cold winds
The air so icy you cannot even breathe
Yet I feel like you should be here
Telling me about the market women
And sometimes the river and the farms
I love to listen to you talk...

I know nothing I say will keep you here
Yet still you ask me if you should stay
Still you ask if I need you a little more
Still you'd love to be here but you can't
You would not mind to stay up for me
To watch me laugh at your tall tales
To listen to my voice aside the crickets
To tease me about my hair over and over
You say good night and wait in silence
You wait for a signal from me
I say it's okay you can go and take a rest
Tomorrow is a new day to make new memories.. 

Mirror on the wall/Have you healed?

It was just last night
He dug into your skin
Tearing your heart to pieces
Wounding your soul to ashes
Like how fire consumes wood
Then he gathered the ashes in the air
And blew you out through the window
You landed on the tarred roads
You hanged in tree leaves
You sailed in the ocean waves
You were gone...supposed to be gone
But the mirror oh mirror on the wall
Have you healed?

You woke up in the morning
A tub full of water, bubbles of white foam
To wash down the sins of yesterday
A glass of wine by the tub and your favourite music
To dab on the wounds with rhymes of love
He needed you to remember it, the love
Scented candles rented the air, lavenders of peace
Stuffing your breathe you forget the scents of yesterday
Of fresh blood and sweaty blows taking over the air
You dump your body in the water and squirm in pain
“You look beautiful when you make that face”
You look up into the mirror and wallow in the figure there
A dark chiselled log of wood with packs of six tight abs
It excites you and you grin at the figure
Your triggers make way to the sponge and you squeeze it
The soapy water trickles down your bits of wounds, you whimper
“Careful it can be painful” dark figure in the mirror speaks
You stop and stare in the mirror, waiting for an apology
One, two, three years of never hearing it
You wonder why you're hoping it might come today
You spot the flower pot, a new one replaces yesterday’s
The one that cracked your head before you were a pulp
This new one, you give it a few more months
“Don't they look beautiful?” he’s still in the mirror
“The vendor said the flowers can heal...”
Have you healed?

You blur your eyes with soap sud, sink into the tub
And hope that when you open them again you will heal.