The Christmas
tree stands aloof
Its
leaves suffocated in white cottons
Cheap
balloons hanging from it
Glittery
yellows, greens, reds
Flowing
from top to bottom
The
two kilogram tin with sand
Holding
the roots of the tree firm
Uncle
Bob smiles from his armchair
The full
moon covers the sky
The
stars pressed upon the clear sky
There is pin drop silence
Christmas
carols from a distance
I lay
guessing into the ceiling
Dreaming
of Christmas taffeta
Polka
dot dresses and doll shoes
Uncle
Bob watches over the night
An ice
cold shudder wakes me up
It’s
deep dark in the room
A
heavy breathe is over me
My
heart skips a second
My
hands held in a tight grip
I can
feel the breeze in my thighs
Uncle
Bob’s chair is empty
Two
eyes look into mine
Then a
wide grin follows the eyes
“It
will be okay”
I look
in deep silence
First
at my dress, pulled up
Then
at the eyes of my babysitter
“It is
just a small Christmas gift”
I
never knew uncle Bob this heavy
My hands
folded in a tight grip
He
passes his hands between my thighs
It is
cold, it is Christmas
My
heart freezes, Christmas carols
His
trousers are on the floor
I can
see the snake
Big,
black, looking at me
Uncle
Bob’s Christmas gift breathes
Suddenly
i can breathe again
He is
breathing too
A
heavy dusty breathe that suffocates
He is
sweaty and greasy all over
He
slips and i shove him aside
He
falls with a thud
I break
the window and flee
Leaving
Uncle Bob’s Christmas gift
Safe
and sound in the cattle pen
Tears
fall down in torrents
I
struggle to breathe
Nandiri,
the female cow stares at me
I know
she understands my pain
A sudden
twist from my back startles me
Blood,
oh no the window cracked me
Oh
Uncle Bob what did you do
The
mowing of cows, clucking of hens
It is
morning already
A pair
of gum boots stands by me
The
herd’s boy is here already
I lift
my painful body and leave
I must
shower before the sun rises
Before
the world knows about it
Uncle
Bob’s Christmas gift.
